I'd like to rant, please

I'm so dead TIRED of it all! I'm sick of it. I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I'm so jealous of those who can actually enjoy their family dinners and gatherings. And I'm jealous of those who have such close bonds with their parents. It's weird. I hate being treated like a child, yet sometimes all I want to do is be a child again and crawl under my parent's blankets and sleep under their care. And then there are others around me who show concern, but I can't feel anything but pity from them. Your pity is a burden. Of course I love them, but honestly.. I would rather have someone quietly listening beside me than have someone constantly digging me out for answers. And I know all the lectures show that they care, but it's like I'm hearing the right lectures at the wrong time. Does that make sense? The lectures which include "Study hard. Don't do drugs." It's just not what I need right now. I've heard it a thousand times from a thousand people. I don't think hearing the same lecture for a thousand and oneth time is going to do me any good.

This somewhat got off topic from what I wanted to rant about. But I have no clue how to explain it. I'm just REALLY frustrated right now and wanted to throw some things off my mind. For now, all I can say is that I hate lying. I hate being asked to lie even more.

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